College is tough, especially when you have to spend Thanksgiving away from home. Everyone in your family is most likely enjoying a scrumptious dinner that took several days to prepare while you are shuffling through your drawers for another night of Cup O’ Noodles. You plan to sit in front of your tiny laptop screen, eyes glued as countless Thanksgiving specials play queued on Netflix and soggy noodles enter your mouth.
Well fear not young college student. Here are 10 things you can do this year to have a fancy Thanksgiving on a budget.
- Dress up.
Instead of spending the entire day in your pajamas you should wear something beautiful. I was thinking a ballroom gown, four inch heels and gloves for the females and a tuxedo for the males. Thanksgiving is not known as a holiday where one dresses up, but let’s make it. When will you ever wear your prom dress again anyways?
2. Buy the basics.
Pumpkin spice lattes, K cups, fall candles, and terrible quotes written in every worst calligraphy. If you can’t have real Thanksgiving, at least make your kitchen table look Instagram-worthy.
3. Empty your pantry into the stuffing.
This is an easy one: just mix everything together and call it a “medley.” Take all those old care packages and just stuff those sweet treats into that turkey’s butt. This will make a very unique tasting meal that will be discussed for years to come. Maybe the recipe can even be sold to L’albatros.
4. Use a plunger as a turkey baster.
You’re a poor college student who can barely afford to eat Chipotle once a week. So you most likely do not have intense cooking equipment like a turkey baster, but fear not! Plungers can be used as a replacement and are often free. Just follow the first maintenance worker you see to the closet with all the supplies and break in. You might even get a free mop as well.
5. Collect food from your neighbors.
We all want to have a squash medley, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole as sides but who has the money for all those components? Instead you can make cheap replacement sides by asking everyone in your dorm what food they are willing to throw towards your feast. Instead of a green bean casserole you can make a leftover Chipotle casserole or a medley of stolen fruit from Leutner. Of course your neighbors are likely college students, so perhaps procure several antibacterial products too.
6. Have a cooking party.
As we all know from our mother’s cooking, Thanksgiving is a chore that will probably take up to 24 hours. Buy a bag of Tostitos, and turn on the cooking channel. Invite your friends and make it a party.
7. Borrow utensils from Leutner.
You pay around $14 per meal swipe so why not let that money go for good use and grab a few hundred forks and knives for this fancy feast. No one will notice.
8. Skype in.
Call all your friends who live close enough to go home for the break and eat to candlelight in your common room together. Tie plastic bags around the smoke detectors (for safety, of course).