Another semester is past, and once again the august institution that I have had the privilege of leading since 2007, Case Western Reserve University, has achieved several remarkable historic firsts in just the few months of classes since we welcomed the class of 2019 into our community. I’d like to take a moment of your time to reflect on the achievements that we all can take credit for this semester.
- Our College of Engineering successfully achieved a national 1st place ranking for proportion of undergraduate students changing majors because of excruciatingly difficult coursework, according to a survey of the 375 engineering undergrads who changed majors this semester.
- The Mandel School of Applied Sciences received its first undergraduate student this semester, making Fall 2015 the first term where every single college at CWRU has at least one student enrolled.
- The Dental School achieved the remarkable this term when, according to a The Observer survey, more than half of all Spartans are aware of its existence. Great job!
- CWRU achieved a 50 percent “Soul-sucking” rating in undergrad academics this term, allowing admittance into an elite set of universities that heretofore have only included Ivy league schools.
But enough about academics! As you all know, that is only one small part of life at Case! Here are some other notable achievements that all deserve a round of applause.
- According to a new survey, 76 percent of undergrad students agree that “My entire worth as a person is based on my GPA”. This is the first time any university has scored above a 75 percent; let’s go for 100 percent, my friends!
- Ten percent of students are now aware of the existence of our pep band, which is more than double the amount compared to Spring 2016. I think this really shows our school spirit. Furthermore, the majority of students have, for the first time ever, correctly identified our mascot, the Spartan. Go team!
I’ve been throwing too many statistics at you, so let’s make things more personal; we wouldn’t want to confuse the poetry majors, excuse me, the poetry major.
- The class of 2019 is the first class that includes more than 20 winners of the Shkreli award, which is given to young people who are devoted wholeheartedly to making as much money as possible. What a class of entrepreneurs!
- In December, just before finals, Think[box] was used for the first time since its opening in September by a freshman who needed to make a sloppy Christmas gift using a laser cutter; now that’s incubation.
- Finally, CWRU infinitely increased its “Security Overreaction” score from zero to one attack this semester; there’s no such thing as bad publicity, of course!
Thank you for your time and devotion this semester; I am looking forwards to continued progress in years to come.