Area Student found preserved under snow

By Farah Rahman

Spring at Case Western Reserve University is a wonderful time- the skies are a touch less gray, the wind a smidge less fierce, and Babs brings out her beloved weather machine so visitors can witness the lovely weather that always blesses Cleveland (except for the occasional April snowstorm).
One can also find several prospective students touring campus, sampling the views and classes. On their guided tour, a California family anxiously regarded the small piles of snow that remained from a recent, late April snowstorm.
“As a research university, CWRU has plenty of opportunities for undergraduate student to get invol- aahhh!”
Already walking backward along the binary walkway, the unsuspecting tour guide tripped and stumbled upon something buried in the snow. She and the group brushed off the snow to reveal the frozen body of a CWRU student.
The tour guide hurriedly reported the incident to her supervisor and campus officials, as the tour group slowly retreated in shock. The student is now identified to be Joe Smith, unseen by his friends and professors since a snowstorm last semester.
After being unearthed by the tour group, Smith was rushed to University Hospitals to receive care and is now alive and recuperating. Research teams from CWRU’s Department of Physics and Medicine are conducting further research to determine how exactly the student froze underneath the snow and how he managed to survive. Smith was unavailable to comment, as he was still in the defrosting process.
One of Smith’s roommates, Bob Jones, is assisting on the research for his SAGES capstone.
“Joe was always kind of a quiet guy,” Jones said. “I don’t think staying frozen in the snow bothered him too much. He was pretty chill.”
Despite Jones’s lack of concern, current researchers are excited about the academic and application potential of the situation. “You know, he could be very helpful to us if he stayed frozen,“ one researcher commented. “We would be able to study the human body in a completely different way. But we would be sure to respect and honor him, also. He would be like our very own Lenin.”
Researchers from the Cleveland Museum of Natural History are also thrilled by prospective research. “This is one of the most interesting frozen specimens I’ve ever seen, “ one researcher said. “This is a bit unfortunate for the kid, freezing under the snow and all. But I’m really looking forward to watching this whole situation thaw out.”

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