Area Student Slowly Realizing Quarter-Zip is Not Warm Enough for Cleveland Autumn

Canderson Ooper

CLEVELAND, OH- Noting that the brisk Cleveland breeze is making him shiver, 18 year-old Case Western Reserve University freshman Eddie Evelton told reporters Monday that he isn’t sure his blue quarter-zip CWRU hoodie purchased from the university bookstore is warm enough to be his sole jacket this autumn. Despite the weather still being beautiful for Cleveland this time of year, and sitting around the 50 degree mark, the Californian native has been “shocked” by drop in temperature.

“Everyone warned me that Midwest weather is nothing like my home states, but I guess I was just not prepared for this,” Evelton said while rubbing his hands against his upper arms in an attempt to warm himself and let everyone else around him know he was cold.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do, I was hoping to just layer this hoodie with my Northface jacket and be set for the winter.”

“This is kind of ridiculous, who builds a city in a place like this,” he later added. “I think I’m coming down with something because of this bullshit weather.”

At press time, several sources speaking under the condition of anonymity confirmed that Evelton’s cough is in fact due to a severe case of pneumonia which will kill him in a few days.

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