William H. Shideler CLEVELAND, OH – Friday night started like any other: with flashing lights and blaring music on CWRU’s Fraternity Row. Soon, the flashing lights and blaring sirens … Read More “Fraternity Calls Police on Own Party”
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SYRIAN PARENTS EXCITED TO HEAR CHILD’S LAST WORDS
Jeff Brisket Homs, Syria—In a small house on the outer fringes of Homs, Syrian parents Malek and Lama Isstaif are very excited to hear their son Tariq’s last words. “It’s … Read More “SYRIAN PARENTS EXCITED TO HEAR CHILD’S LAST WORDS”
Issue 98
Confessions of a CWRU alumnus
Former Contributor They told me it’d all be different once I left college, that it was going to be either one of the other: I’d be either swimming in misery … Read More “Confessions of a CWRU alumnus”
Local man achieves perfectly balanced life
Q&A with local idol Mike Flaggerty Jess Chalas Mike Flaggerty was spotted just three months ago at the grocery store picking out an unrotted bag of apples while simultaneously coddling … Read More “Local man achieves perfectly balanced life”
EPA trashed: Cuyahoga River, Lake Erie immediately catch fire
Charles Li The Cuyahoga River once again caught fire after the leftover corpse of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) was dragged off of Capitol Hill to be improperly disposed of … Read More “EPA trashed: Cuyahoga River, Lake Erie immediately catch fire”
Famous last words before leaving KSL
Erin Hartmann “I think we should head out.” “Has anyone seen my espresso?” “I’m about to get a full six hours of sleep tonight.” “Good thing tomorrow is Saturday.” “Better … Read More “Famous last words before leaving KSL”
Battle of the Bands violates Geneva Convention, Model U.N. intervenes
Paul Palumbo The recent Battle of the Bands between Case Western Reserve University (CWRU) and Cleveland State University (CSU) was shut down by the Model U.N. this weekend. According to … Read More “Battle of the Bands violates Geneva Convention, Model U.N. intervenes”
10 ways Spirit Airlines saves money
Leticia Dornfeld Charge you $10 to print your ticket at the airport. Charge $50 for the first checked bag and $55 per carry-on bag. Charge an extra $55 … Read More “10 ways Spirit Airlines saves money”
In which Mr. Jameson’s stinginess is revealed
Jonathan Schaeffer “So now there’s a dead man in the garden, and I’m not sure why.” “Where’s the garden?” “Out there.” “How did he die?” “Someone shot him.” “Where was … Read More “In which Mr. Jameson’s stinginess is revealed”
CWRU introduces new varsity yoga team
Erin Hartmann In hopes of finally winning an University Athletic Association Conference Championship title, the Case Western Reserve University Athletic Department has recently invested thousands of dollars to promote and … Read More “CWRU introduces new varsity yoga team”
Syrian parents excited to hear child’s last words
Jeff Brisket Homs, Syria—In a small house on the outer fringes of Homs, Syrian parents Malek and Lama Isstaif are very excited to hear their son Tariq’s last words. “It’s … Read More “Syrian parents excited to hear child’s last words”
Local milkshake stop uses last straw
Paul Palumbo Local milkshake restaurant Milky Way became the scene of an emergency last night when the cashier realized that the sipping utensil he had just given a customer had … Read More “Local milkshake stop uses last straw”
600 GIFs that perfectly explain how we feel about finals week
Tejas Joshi Finals week is approaching and these 600 GIFs perfectly explain how you’ll feel! Sometimes you feel ready… Then finals really start and the work hits you. You’ll try … Read More “600 GIFs that perfectly explain how we feel about finals week”
March Mania sweeps through admissions department
Eddie Kerekes CLEVELAND—Sobbing silently at his desk after refreshing his browser for the 19th time today, Trevor Young finally accepted that he would not win this year’s office bracket pool. … Read More “March Mania sweeps through admissions department”