Blacklight reveals CWRU’s dirty secrets

By: Riddhi Patel

This afternoon, Case Western Reserve University was given the opportunity to conduct an investigative project at some its most popular venues. A black light was used to  inspect several on campus buildings and some shocking discoveries were made.

First off, watch where you sleep, lay down or sit in the Kelvin Smith Library. Like most of the CWRU campus, I have taken my fair share of naps in KSL. Who hasn’t? You will regret those 30-40 minute power naps after discovering what is really on all those cubicles and couches: saliva. Lots and lots of saliva. Guess when one too many students fall asleep, they drool a little or a lot.

Besides the excessive amounts of saliva, other interesting discoveries were found inside these library walls as well. Spilled 5-Hour Energies, coffee and maybe Adderall (but most likely Tylenol) stained several desks throughout the library’s three floors.

If you thought that was bad, you will not believe what we found in the basement of the Mather Memorial Building. It is the big red building across from PBL that only sociology and psychology majors have classes in and maybe a few other people because of SAGES. It is a building that has nine entrances but only only one works and a bathroom that requires identification to use, which is found in the basement.

Also found in this basement is a lactation center which consists of a plastic chair. Several strains of bacteria and STDs were uncovered thanks to our trusty black light—guess this building is where students like to get down and dirty.

Speaking of dirty, the Denny’s bathroom had a lot uncovered as well. With its negative reputation as a regretful stop on a saturday night, Denny’s far surpassed its already dirty reputation. The bathroom were lined in urine and puke—typical of those inhabit it during the busy weekend hours. Hopefully these discoveries will lead to a better and cleaner CWRU.


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