Bon Appétit Renames Dining Halls to Remain Hip, Happening

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In an effort to continue its recent trend of giving its dining options “fresh, hip” names, Bon Appétit announced today that it will be renaming Leutner Dining Hall “Cool Foodz Hall” and Fribley Dining Hall “Fribbles, My Nizzle, iz the Hizzle Hall.”

Representatives from Bon Appétit, Case Western’s food management company noted that these changes were to take place in the coming weeks to align with the company’s new goal of “keeping up with the times.”

“We figured a change was needed after we brought “Cool Beanz,” “Pinzas” and “8twenty6” to the new university center,” Bon Appetit’s marketing department noted in a statement to the press.

“We want the campus community to feel like the dining halls are also a funky fresh place to hang out. These names performed well in our extensive campus polling and focus groups of ‘expert’ 65-year old white men. Please think that we’re cool.”

Additional changes are in the works for “Cool Foodz” and “Fribbles, My Nizzle iz the Hizzle Hall” noted the press release. Bon Appétit hopes to switch all the music in both locations to a playlist made entirely of 2 Chainz and Pitbull songs.

“We’re just hoping to give the students what they want,” said a representative from Bon Appétit’s Marketing Department. “Or at least, what we think they want. That’s what kids listen to these days right?”

If budget constraints permit, Bon Appétit hopes to install skate ramps along the stairs in Leutner and Fribley and pinball in the lobbies of both buildings. They’re trying to keep up with the “latest trends.”

“We’ve looked at a lot of ‘90s videos to see what college kids want,” a representative from Bon Appétit noted. “We pride ourself in doing full research on all projects.”

Workers will see a uniform change. Their black uniforms will be replaced with low-rise pants, loose shirts, gold chains and baseball caps.
A cheesy music video is in the works.

Additionally, in an effort to better connect with the campus community, CWRU’s food management company gave students the chance to cast their vote to rename Grab-It and Bag-It, the crown jewels of the CWRU dining system.

The contest took place in an online system where students could submit suggestions for names and rate ones suggested by their colleagues.
The competition did not go as planned however, considering the top vote getter for Grab-It last stood at “Grab-It Suxs.” Bag-It on the other hand fared much worse; the leading name as of press time was “The Holocaust Never Happened.”

As a result, Bon Appetit chose the following down-to-earth names: “Sandwichez 1 and Sandwiches 2,” thinking that changing the “s” to a “z” would jazz things up a little.


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