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CWRU's humor magazine, est. 2000

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Issue 74

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 4, 2014No comment Deities destroy CWRU Theology 101

Deities destroy CWRU Theology 101

Written by Kayla Devault  Students of CWRU’s new World Theology 101 class find themselves with an easier workload after a slew of angry gods destroyed their classroom. When Professor Harold … Read More “Deities destroy CWRU Theology 101”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 4, 2014No comment Goldey Fries and the three ice creams

Goldey Fries and the three ice creams

Written by Sarah Whelan Once upon a time, a harried and hungry Case Western Reserve University student attempted to retrieve sustenance from the lovable local Leutner. Rushing inside to shelter … Read More “Goldey Fries and the three ice creams”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 4, 2014April 4, 2014No comment Urgot rerelease revealed

Urgot rerelease revealed

Ryan “Morello” Scott, head champion designer for the riotously popular game League of Legends, announced last week on the forums a complete overhaul of Urgot, the Headsman’s Pride, and released … Read More “Urgot rerelease revealed”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 4, 2014No comment Princess Pizza and the power of rap

Princess Pizza and the power of rap

XYZ News — Julia Bianco Once upon a time, in a far, far away land, there was a princess named Princess Pizza. Princess Pizza lived in a castle with her … Read More “Princess Pizza and the power of rap”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 4, 2014No comment The Beginning of it All

The Beginning of it All

Trust Me, I’m A Scientist — Evan Martin Ah, the origin of life. One of the great mysteries of the universe that has confounded the greatest human minds for millennia. … Read More “The Beginning of it All”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 4, 2014No comment CWRU president makes supernatural deal, unleashes demonic weather

CWRU president makes supernatural deal, unleashes demonic weather

Reported by Hallie Dolin Babs, according to a number of reputable sources, has really done it this time, and Armageddon may not be far away. Apparently, the three polar vortices … Read More “CWRU president makes supernatural deal, unleashes demonic weather”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 3, 2014No comment Norse religious groups increase due to “Thor”

Norse religious groups increase due to “Thor”

Reported by  Marisa Neel Well, it’s Thors-day, time to get hammered… …down to the nitty gritty details of the religious revival that’s sweeping the nation. Norse religious groups have popped … Read More “Norse religious groups increase due to “Thor””

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 3, 2014No comment Interview with the coffee god

Interview with the coffee god

Behind every soy milk latte, cappuccino or mocha, one spirit resides to share the powers of alertness as the largest CWRU house on campus. This god knows that his caffeine … Read More “Interview with the coffee god”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 3, 2014No comment Olympian Olympics

Olympian Olympics

Written by Anastazia Vanisko After the Sochi Olympics, there was a worldwide feeling of disappointment. As it turns out, that feeling was not limited to our realm. The Greek gods, … Read More “Olympian Olympics”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 3, 2014August 10, 2014No comment Letter from the Editor

Letter from the Editor

The first book that I really remember reading as a child was a 200-something page book about mythology. It was way back in the third grade when death gods may … Read More “Letter from the Editor”

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