11111 Euclid Avenue, Cleveland OH 44106

Issue 75

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Cops Versus Druggies: A new game to improve campus spirit

Connie Huang Sports Writer A new game, Cops versus Druggies (CvD), is being developed on campus in the wake of polls on changing interests of the CWRU population. Spurred by new lows of participants playing in the various campus-wide traditions, this game will be a desperate attempt on part of the […]

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Nerd version of Fight Club to hold Stoning Festival

Polly Ethyl Ian Sports Writer Monday night, on the eve of April Fools, the Case Medieval Combat Club (the reader might know them as ‘LARPers’) will celebrate the culture and history of rocks as weapons in their annual stoning festival. Stoning, they insist, has a rich and diverse heritage that deserves […]

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Athletic students give new meaning to “Rock-Hard”

River Tam Sports Writer Watch out, Ultimate Frisbee team— there’s a new team in town that can throw. In a new twist on shotput, the team “the Throwbacks” have started a trend of throwing rocks with as much force as possible. What adds spice to the game and makes it more […]

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REPORT: Former Brown’s owner admits to being “high” during management decisions, sold team to pothead Jimmy Haslam

Release Winchester MacCionaodh, Former Cleveland Brown’s owner According to a new report from ESPN, former Cleveland Browns owner Randy Lerner admitted to being high during most of his management decisions. These moments spanned from his father’s death in 2002 until the team’s sale in 2012 to businessman Jimmy Haslam. In […]

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Ten things to do with your rock collection

Eleanor Rambo As temperatures rise and finals approach, tempers often rise as well. Since none of us are faultless, we really can’t afford to throw stones around our glass houses. Instead, consider putting those rocks to use in a different way. If you’d like to use your rocks while enjoying […]

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Unpopular opinion: Marijuana killz

Charlie Topel Ladies and gentlemen, we have a war on our hands: the war on drugs. This wildly successful war has been going on for decades, started by the honest patriot Richard Nixon in the mid-1970s to combat the hippy-dippy flower children who infected our youth with their LSD and […]

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The Japanese on April Fool’s Day

Shinichi Atatakakunakattakara Despite birthing such bizarre popular phenomena as anime, the Japanese are generally considered to be a rather serious people. Their modern economy is built around stoic salary-men working long days and nights. Their students study more for Japan’s infamous college entrance examinations than most American students study in […]

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Bring on 2014: A guide to being different

Kayla DeVault Who are you? Are you like everyone else or are you different? Special? Maybe a large part of who you are is where you come from. Well, since the beginning of time people have been divided by this thing called culture. Any deviation from mainstream thinking or traditional […]

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Advice: care less, smoke more

Evan Martin Dope. Weed. Mary Jane. The Devil’s Lettuce, if you happen to be a southern pastor from the 1950’s. Whatever you call the stuff, 40 percent of Americans 12 and older admit to using it at least once in their lives. Raise that preteen age limit to 21, and […]

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Journeying out of Skyrim

CWRU police apprehended a young man earlier this week, after having received several reports of the disruption he was causing on the campus quad. The young man, who at the time called himself “Ex Dragon Slayer Ex Ninety Three” but was later discovered to be a sophomore at CWRU, was […]

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Interview with Lindsay: What to do while stoned

Marisa Neel Staff Reporter We can only thank Obama that unemployment is so high that these days the only thing higher is Lindsay Lohan. With the drug finals coming up this year, we have Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan going head to head in a close battle for the gold. I […]

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The Promise Land of CWRU Restaurants

Grace Gunderman Contributing Writer It’s impossible to go to this Cleveland restaurant without seeing someone you know. The line can take hours, even days. People flock in hoards and droves; I’ve always been impressed when I see the line stretch all the way to the door. Their food may not be […]

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Cleveland Bucket List

Kara Guyer Contributing Reporter This winter has been one of the worst, most hateful showings toward Cleveland in Mother Nature’s history. It has some of us (read: all of us) thinking: “Why did we decide to go to school in Northeast Ohio again?” Well, I have no idea how to answer […]

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The art of “Getting Jolly”

Mel Sayre Editor-in-Chief While many colleges in the world will designate bars as being the “go to” area – passed down from one student to another – not many can claim, like Case Western Reserve University does, the grand luxury of having a hotspot bar in the dead center of campus. […]

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New USG initiatives very popular among students

Anastazia Vanisko Staff Reporter Recently, Case Western Reserve University’s Undergraduate Student Government (USG) has started a controversial initiative, but the campus seems to love it. Why is that? A closer look at the plans explains why. After noticing that people were only eating half of the food on their plates, student […]