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Issue 76

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Barbara Snyder gives familiar commencement speech; inquiries made

John Rambo In the middle of May, Barbara Snyder gave her annual commencement address to a large crowd of graduating students and their loved ones. Although the speech moved many in the crowd to tears, others reported that they found it suspiciously reminiscent of last year’s address, and many of […]

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An overview of CWRU’s greatest scandals…in the 2013-2014 academic year

Hallie Dolin Every university has its dark secrets. Harvard has grade inflation, Illinois has nepotism and Duke has every single one of its sports teams. Case Western Reserve University, however, is an exception to the rule. We don’t have one scandal; we have, due to the special kind of nerd […]

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Student with last name ‘Z’ submits SAGES writing portfolio as commencement begins, when it reaches him, it’s done

Kayla Devault Graduation ceremonies are meant to recognize each student for his or her achievements as fairly as possible. Each student gets the same walk at his or her given time and the ceremonies are as painfully long for one student and his or her family as they are for […]

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Thwing Center will become new zombie apocalypse shelter

Adithi Iyengar With Humans versus Zombies at an end for the school year, some students have voiced their concerns over a lack of safety on campus. The importance of prepping for a zombie apocalypse has become all the more real, once being chased around campus for over a week. “It […]

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It’s got sass, class and a lot of glass – welcome to the new TV Center

Greg Ritchey It’s what we’ve all been waiting for since we came here: a gigantic, multimillion-dollar glass building that looks like it was taken out of a bad episode of Cribs. Yes, the brand new two-story, 82,000-square-foot Tinkham Veale University Center is set to open its glass doors beginning the […]

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[ Belize it or not ]

Kayla’s Worldly Inventions – Kayla DeVault It seems like a lot of people have heard of Belize, but not as many could place it on a map. Say “Mexico” and everyone knows exactly where it is. Ironically, Belize isn’t too far. In fact, it’s bordered by Mexico to the north, […]

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Study finds many birds lack regeneration genes

Tejas Joshi CLEVELAND, OH—A study released Thursday by Case Western Reserve University has conclusively shown that many birds lack the regeneration genes found in phoenixes. The groundbreaking work lists dozens of commonly known avian species, including penguins, sparrows and flying squirrels, which do not spontaneously combust and arise from the […]

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Phoenix wings: Cheap, tasty and everlasting

Anastazia Vanisko Kentucky Fried Chicken, a beloved chain to many fried chicken fans, recently made their biggest addition to the menu. This highly anticipated entrée has been shrouded in mystery for the past several months, to the point where many expected the reveal to be disappointing. Luckily, these Debbie-downers were […]

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Twitter Takes on Politics

Compiled through archives and twitter reports Many of you have probably heard about the situation in Ukraine. Many more of you might feel passionately about what the United States should do about Ukraine. Many, many more of you probably have no idea where Ukraine is on a map. For those […]

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New Theme Park Opening in Neo-world

As summer comes rolling around, it’s time to for studious Case students to seek out new adventures away from their dorm rooms and mile-radius campus bubble. There’s so much you could do: soak in hot springs, party with friends, backpack in foreign lands, brave the seas on a five-star yacht. […]

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Politicians start their children on the campaign trail early

Julia Bianco Following the recent announcement of her pregnancy, Chelsea Clinton, daughter of pioneer of the women’s pantsuit industry Hillary Clinton, announced that she will be doing everything within her power to ensure that her future child wins the 2052 presidential election. “As soon as my child is of age, […]

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Predicting the ultimate, and grisly, outcomes of “Game of Thrones”

Hallie Dolin Whether you’re a Stark fan, a Targaryen loyalist, or a Lannister supporter, you’ve probably been watching “Game of Thrones” from the beginning if you’re reading this. Nevertheless, you should be warned that these predictions contain plenty of spoilers. If you haven’t watched the series in its entirety, you […]

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Cleveland Condemned …Maybe

Anastazia Vanisko A group of grumpy Clevelanders have decided that there is no chance for their home to rebuild into something better. Their project, deemed “Project DestroyCle,” claims that if Cleveland wants a fresh start, it will need to be destroyed and built anew. After many discussions about the best […]

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What can brown do for you?

Evan Martin Life on Earth has existed for at least 2.5 billion years. Try as hard as you want, but that number is absolutely impossible for a human brain to comprehend because, of course, we never evolved to. The ability to comprehend small numbers was necessary for basic problem solving […]

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Study Tips

Sarah Whelan 1. As finals approach, spend the last few weeks relaxing and getting caught up on TV and socialization, so that when it finally becomes the absolute last possible moment you will be refreshed, relaxed and ready to work really hard. 2. Be sure to tweet about how much […]