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Editor's Note

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Letter from the Editor

Anne Nickoloff Burnout: It exists. It might not be recognized by modern psychology, and it might be dismissed by certain hard workers. But it has become an increasingly large problem at colleges and universities everywhere, including Case. (Seriously. I’m so burnt out right now, that I don’t even want to […]

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Laziness Spotlight

                                         

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tl;dr

Anne Nickoloff Editor’s Note – What type of student are you? Freshman goes crazy over snow – “So beautiful… wait it’s cold.” App automatically presses snooze button – Just keep sleeping Fall 2014 SAGES Lazy Award – SAGES essay got an award I guess Tips to avoid doing homework – […]

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Traffic Advisory

Bertrand Kelekolio For the past few weeks, sparrows, robins, nuthatches, but mostly geese have stopped flying on campus and began taking public transportation. The presence of these birds was rationalized by many as seeing Case Western Reserve University students just before finals week: both species are quiet, disheveled and fervently […]

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5 Ways to Deal with the End of the Semester

Anne Nickoloff 1. Finals are well underway, and stress is getting bad. 2. You’re starting to think beyond the possible, of ways to deal with school. 3. But it’s inevitable. You’re stuck with a few all-nighters before the semester is over. 4. Just remember; there are always a few golden […]

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A Message From Your Friendly Neighborhood Food Deliverer

Paul Palumbo Can you guys just stop? Seriously, just STOP. You guys haven’t stopped ordering delivery in like two whole weeks, and honestly I’m just sick of it. Sick of walking through the snow, sick of the tiny tips from you guys (seriously, if I’m going to freeze my ass […]

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Lazy Song Parody

Nardine Taleb and Fatimah Abouelsoud Today I don’t feel like doing anything I just wanna lay in my bed Don’t feel like plowing through Cleveland snow so I’ll tell class where it can go ‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything Uh! I’m gonna kick my feet up Then […]

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Heated Vents New Hot Spot on Campus

Paul Palumbo The vents located near Tinkham Veale Student Center have become very popular in recent weeks, a new study has shown. Students have begun stopping in front of the vents and standing in the same place for upwards of 10 minutes. Researchers have attributed this behavior to the fact […]

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When Laziness Overcomes Cheapness…

Anastazia Vanisko The Village Starbucks has gotten rid of its bring-your-own–mug-and-get-two-dollar-coffee deal.That was a dirty lie, I apologize. But at this rate, Starbucks might as well drop the deal. Thanks to an overwhelming epidemic of laziness this finals season, people are actually paying full price for their coffee. The holidays […]

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Area Student Realizes He Doesn’t Know Family Well Enough to Buy Them Heartwarming Christmas Presents

Canderson Ooper CLEVELAND, OH-As the holiday season approaches, 21 year-old Case Western Reserve University junior Thomas Anderson told reporters Tuesday that he is slowly beginning to realize that he does not know his family well enough to buy them good Christmas gifts. Anderson, who doesn’t even have that big of […]

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Head: XXX Family Presents The 25 Days of Dickmas

Julia Bianco Everyone knows that Christmas is the perfect season for porn. So tune in to XXX Family all month to see your favorite holiday pornos!   Monday, Dec. 1 “Miracle on 69th Street” A woman discovers that orgasms do come true, if you believe.   Tuesday, Dec. 2 “Jack-off […]

Netflix Users Too Lazy to Click to Next Episode

Julia Bianco Faithful Netflix users have been faced with a dilemma recently, as the 15-second waiting period between episodes of television has just become too long to bear. “I’m, like, in the Netflix groove, you know?” said Samantha Smith, who hasn’t left her room in four days while binge watching […]