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Editor's Note

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Letter from the Editor

Anne Nickoloff, editor-in-chief Ever since my freshman year, Case Western has hovered somewhere in the higher numbers of the Princeton Review’s “least beautiful campus” list. The photo accompanying said list is of Juniper Road, mid-winter, with a slush coat and scraggly trees breaking up an otherwise gorgeous sunset.   But, […]

Lake Erie turned green after Chicago St. Patrick’s Day parade gone wrong

Canderson Ooper Chicago’s tradition finally made its way into Lake Erie this past weekend, after dyed green water leaked into the Great Lakes system. Chicago dyes its river green in honor of St. Patrick’s Day every year. This year, in an effort to save money, the city switched to a […]

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Area student still hasn’t attended a class this semester

Canderson Ooper Saying it’s been his goal since sophomore year, senior CWRU biology major Kevin Porker told reporters yesterday that he still hasn’t attended any of his four classes yet this semester.  The press conference took place during the same time his Biology 215 class is scheduled, a class mandatory […]

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Retired Crayola colors

By Percy “Bitch” Shelley Mellow Yellow—Finally some sense in 2015, mellow yellow is retired. Here in the 21st century, colors shouldn’t be categorized by stereotypes. Any color can be as unmellow as the next color, and we’re standing up for purple to have the same right to be mellow, if […]

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Buzzquiz – What’s your color?

By Percy “Bitch” Shelley How would your friends describe you to others? Actually the worst Kind of weird Who? A huge nerd Trustworthy If you had a superpower, what would it be? Pokemon Master Elf, from Lord of the Rings Crazy Cat Person Can travel between worlds, but only our […]

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Ice cream machine dispenses horrifyingly unexpected contents

Tejas Joshi Last Tuesday, local Case Western Reserve University student, Thomas Danforth, traveled to the ice cream machine in the cafeteria in search of a sweet dessert. However, in the jarring series of events that followed, Danforth pulled the lever for vanilla ice cream, but instead the machine dispensed an […]

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Mood ring deception

Kushagra Gupta I am so confused.   My girlfriend and I were at the gift shop at the Cleveland Museum of Art and she got me one of those high-tech mood rings.   It’s supposed to change colors based on your feelings. But, here’s the weird thing: it’s always black, […]

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DMHO KILLS

By Dr. Leo Spaceman   This is Danny. Danny is a beloved father, teacher and professional athlete.   Danny is addicted to dihydrogen monoxide(DHMO). Without a fix in the next two to three days, Danny will die.   An estimated number of millions of people are addicted to DMHO, maybe […]

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Spring Fashion

Jessica Chalas It’s Friday and you’ve run out of clean underwear? No sweat! Grab the bottom of your favorite bathing suit instead. Since “spring” in Cleveland means melting slush and frigid rain, the water-proof material is perfect for any nasty falls. Bad hair day? Rock the cool-and-collected look with just […]

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Why’d I Ever Choose Case

Jessica Chalas (Spoof of “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong) I see Sherman and Taft, Taplin too, I see first-years, like me and you And I think to myself Why’d I ever choose Case?   I see Fribley food, top of the hill, Big elephant stairs, out my windowsill […]

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Muppet elected to House of Representatives

Sabanrab Nannerb In last year’s midterm elections, the state of California elected the first Muppet representative to the House. While many politicians over the years have been puppets and served in Congress, none have ever identified with the Muppet-American community. Robert F. Eagle took the majority of votes in California’s […]

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Anti-Jokes

Julia Bianco Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the ghost of his chicken mother appeared on the other side and told him that he would never achieve anything in his life if he didn’t. What happened after he crossed the road? He found out that it wasn’t the […]

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Horrible puns to impress your friends

Fía The following are puns that you can use to pun-ish your friends when they don’t appreciate your puns – even though they are so punny! Puns about German sausages are the wurst. Obesity is a big problem. Camping trips are in-tent-se. Would you like some soup-er chicken noodle soup? […]