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CWRU's humor magazine, est. 2000

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Issue 85

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 11, 2015No comment Issue 85

Issue 85

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 11, 2015November 11, 2015No comment Bon Appetit Fancy Menu

Bon Appetit Fancy Menu

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015No comment Barbra Snyder

Barbra Snyder

Andrew Dupuis

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015No comment Historians discover that Columbus was actually a good guy

Historians discover that Columbus was actually a good guy

Staff Reporter CLEVELAND, OH- High school teacher Sally Peterson told reporters yesterday that Christopher Columbus was not who they thought he was. Students from first grade through sixth grade are … Read More “Historians discover that Columbus was actually a good guy”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015No comment The New Residence Hall is Broken

The New Residence Hall is Broken

Barnabas Brennan Disclaimer: I wanted to make up some amusing jokes, but most of this is really just what residents have shown me or told me about. In the spring, … Read More “The New Residence Hall is Broken”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015November 11, 2015No comment Skype interview takes devastating turn for the worst

Skype interview takes devastating turn for the worst

Anastazia Vanisko A Case Western Reserve University student was recently humiliated during a Skype interview with the company of his dreams when his interviewer asked him to stand during the … Read More “Skype interview takes devastating turn for the worst”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015No comment Case orders shipment of ivy to increase prestige

Case orders shipment of ivy to increase prestige

Eric Polhemus This last Monday, Case Western Reserve University received two tons of fully grown English ivy, which will be shipped and glued to the walls of numerous buildings across … Read More “Case orders shipment of ivy to increase prestige”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015November 10, 2015No comment The Athenian’s Student Spotlight

The Athenian’s Student Spotlight

Alaina Lisanti “When I was but a boy, in days of youth, My father brought me into London town To listen to a trav’ling music troupe. He inquired of me, … Read More “The Athenian’s Student Spotlight”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015November 11, 2015No comment 8 Things to Do for a Fancy Thanksgiving as a Poor College Student

8 Things to Do for a Fancy Thanksgiving as a Poor College Student

Riddhi Patel College is tough, especially when you have to spend Thanksgiving away from home. Everyone in your family is most likely enjoying a scrumptious dinner that took several days … Read More “8 Things to Do for a Fancy Thanksgiving as a Poor College Student”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015No comment Urban Dictionary…For the fancy

Urban Dictionary…For the fancy

Anne Nickoloff, Editor in Chief For fancy people, the world can be a frightening place. Words we are unaccustomed to can sound like a foreign language, and navigating the sidewalks of any … Read More “Urban Dictionary…For the fancy”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015No comment New campus transportation service launches

New campus transportation service launches

Paul Palumbo A new service has opened on Case Western Reserve University campus that is designed for students who are sick and tired of having to walk to class all … Read More “New campus transportation service launches”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015November 10, 2015No comment Fanciest things at Case Western Reserve University

Fanciest things at Case Western Reserve University

Mount McKinley

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015No comment CaseCash funneled through offshore bank accounts

CaseCash funneled through offshore bank accounts

Michael Codega In shocking national news, Case Western Reserve University has come under investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) for high volume money laundering. There is also strong … Read More “CaseCash funneled through offshore bank accounts”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015November 11, 2015No comment CWRU hosts 50th annual Alumni Donor Penis Size competition

CWRU hosts 50th annual Alumni Donor Penis Size competition

Staff Reporter For the past 50 years, Case Western Reserve University has graciously hosted the Alumni Donor penis size competition, where the wealthy benefactors of our school donate ludicrous sums … Read More “CWRU hosts 50th annual Alumni Donor Penis Size competition”

Author cwruathenianPosted on November 10, 2015No comment Fourth graders outraged when they find out they don’t have to use cursive

Fourth graders outraged when they find out they don’t have to use cursive

Bhargavee Gnanasambandam A little hand moves slowly on the paper, etching each and every little part of the letter. A little bead of sweat drips slowly from his forehead. The … Read More “Fourth graders outraged when they find out they don’t have to use cursive”

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