Issue 92
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!: You’re not even alive.
An Urgent Message from Jahlyn Reyes-McKinley, President of the Tin Foil Hat Society Have you ever taken a walk on the beach on a nice day? Sun in your hair, … Read More “WAKE UP SHEEPLE!: You’re not even alive.”
Revealed: Walmart’s Secret Menu
Erin Hartmann People either go to Walmart to get everyday items at low prices or to see people your mom tells you to stay away from. However a company representative … Read More “Revealed: Walmart’s Secret Menu”
Top Five Ways to Slow Down Time
Paul Palumbo As a college campus, CWRU is capable of performing all kinds of temporal mischief. Obviously time flies when you’re having fun, but what are some ways to make … Read More “Top Five Ways to Slow Down Time”
Using five extra minutes effectively
Daniel Kessler We have just received word from Case Western Reserve University administration regarding changes in class schedules. We now have a 15 minute block between consecutive classes, a 50 … Read More “Using five extra minutes effectively”

Man not sure if argument salvageable, but determined to try anyway
Evelyn Turner, Part-time Court Reporter Area man David Blake began his day the normal way: woke up; brushed his teeth, his hair and his cat; and proceeded to an early … Read More “Man not sure if argument salvageable, but determined to try anyway”

Film Society Olde Time Ad
Ruth Johnson
An Open Letter to the Loading Bar
Dear Loading Bar, I am just not sure that what you are doing is right for the world anymore. Your intentions seem pure. It really does look like you are … Read More “An Open Letter to the Loading Bar”
Five Words that Only Millennials Know: Valuable knowledge Everyone Else is Missing
Alaina Lisanti Things may seem bleak with temperatures at an all-time high and politics at an all-time low, but look on the bright side: if you were born between 1980 … Read More “Five Words that Only Millennials Know: Valuable knowledge Everyone Else is Missing”

Quantum-Entangled Burrito (Fake Ad)
Barnabas Brennan
The Death of Journalism
Tejas Joshi The Athenian separates the myths from the facts regarding the “death of journalism.” Myth Fact Most Americans are not willing to pay for print content due to … Read More “The Death of Journalism”
Student Thinks Within the Possible, Suspended
Staff Reporter At Case Western Reserve University, our motto is “Think Beyond the Possible.” Here, students prepare for the real world by learning to tackle their problems from multiple directions. … Read More “Student Thinks Within the Possible, Suspended”

Group Member’s Web of Lies Exposed
David Pendergast CLEVELAND, OH—Three classmates foiled an attempt to evade group-work duties on Thursday, Oct. 8, accusing group member Rachel of not doing her fair share of the project. According … Read More “Group Member’s Web of Lies Exposed”

Latest Smart Watch Feature Guide
Letty Dornfeld

CWRU Historical Timeline
Daniel Mottern