Issue 93

Pensive Mike, Blogger If you’ve been following my blog pieces, you know that here at CWRU the new need-aware admissions policy has roused debate on one familiar and often hotly … Read More “The Danger of Generalizations: Separating Racism and Affirmative Action”

Steve Kerby “The unexamined life is not worth living,” quipped Socrates right before he was sentenced to die for corrupting the youth. Here at CWRU, we’ve got it all in … Read More “Grapple with these CWRU ethical dilemmas”

Alaina Lisanti You’ve heard it all. The cereal industry. Soap. Even fashion itself. What haven’t millennials slaughtered in cold blood? Well, here are some industries clinging to life in this … Read More “Five industries that millennials haven’t killed”

Ruth Johnson After the recent “planet or dwarf planet” controversy surrounding Pluto, the small celestial body announced today in a press conference that they identify as a non-binary planet. In … Read More “Pluto Is A Non-Binary Planet, They Say”

Nancy R. Adams ATLANTA, GA—According to a new study from Emory University, Miranda warnings, traditionally read by police upon suspect arrest, likely cannot be heard over the ringing sound of … Read More “New study finds that most Miranda rights can’t be heard over gunshots”

Jessica Chalas Hoping to buy your own exclusive Case Western Reserve University blue button-down? The Athenian is here to report that you just missed your chance. The last blue-collar shirt … Read More “Blue Collar”

Riddhi Patel Running for president is hard. That is a statement we can all agree wtih. It is time-consuming, emotionally draining and stressful. Running for president also means you have … Read More “Clinton’s unveils new tactic to win millennial votes”

Mary Johnson How well do you know your cannabinoids? See if you can tell the difference between these fake butter substitutes and street names for weed. Dairy Jane Dank Butter … Read More “Is it a Real Name for Marijuana or a Fake Name for Margarine?”

Caroline Broady America’s blood runs red. Red as the artificial coloring in strawberry milkshakes. Red as the stitching on baseballs and Cincinnati’s team. Red as the stop signs at every … Read More “Condiment of a Continent”

Caroline Broady Lately I have been feeling that something has been missing in my life. With the new year just around the corner, now is as good a time as … Read More “Exercising My First Amendment Rights”

Erin Hartmann HANOVER, NH—After decades of research on the causes of global warming and the resulting crisis that humans and polar bears across the globe may face, a groundbreaking discovery … Read More “Scientists Reveal the Shocking Underlying Cause of Global Warming”

David Pendergast WASHINGTON, DC—Hardly able to contain his excitement as he imagines serving on the United States’ highest court, federal judge and Supreme Court nominee Merrick Garland reports having a … Read More “Merrick Garland getting a good vibe about new job opening”

Climax Dynamo As we near the November election, many may be trying to decide between an angry troll doll with tiny hands and a dying robot that leaks dishonesty. If … Read More “Jill Stein has less impact on the election than CWRU students”