Issue 96

Oksinav Aizatsana The National Institute of Health has just approved a $2 million grant funding a new study that will answer the question that occupies everybody’s mind before mid-afternoon Monday … Read More “NIH grants $2 million to study if weekday brunch is possible”

Paul Palumbo After a surprising upset, Brunch has officially decided to end its involvement with Lunch. This shocking development came after months of Eggs and Bacon complaining that Lunch didn’t … Read More “Bregg-xit: Brunch votes to leave lunch”

Charles Li Find free parking Bribe the staff to do your project for you Call think[box] a Makerspace (It’s an “Innovation Center”) Spell “think[box]” capitalized and without brackets Think inside … Read More “Things you can’t do at think[box]”

WASHINGTON—Yesterday, President Donald Trump signed an executive order to build a massive pipeline through the western portion of the United States. The pipeline, set to be called the Piperloop, will … Read More “Trump approves contentious pipe pipeline”

Steve Kerby CLEVELAND, OH—American Nazi Party (ANP) leaders have issued a short notice to the public to raise awareness of an increase in misunderstandings between Nazi Party members and the … Read More “Neo-Nazi Group complains about misunderstandings”

Tejas Joshi Editor-in-Chief To understand how it all began, we need to start in the belly of the beast which, on this hot March morning, was the collective stomach of … Read More “Editor’s Note”

Tejas Joshi WASHINGTON—On March 22, over 148 million American parents celebrated Bring Your Work to Kid Day nationwide. On this one day of the year when the nation’s child labor … Read More “Bring your work to kid day”