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CWRU's humor magazine, est. 2000

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Issue 97

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Issue 97

Issue 97

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 20171 Comment on “She Stoops to Conquer” can’t conquer Death

“She Stoops to Conquer” can’t conquer Death

Nailah Mathews   Restoration comedy (named for the restoration of the monarchy in England after Parliament beheaded a king), strangely enough, has yet to have enjoyed a prominent following in … Read More ““She Stoops to Conquer” can’t conquer Death”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Hipster on WRUW breaks ranks, plays Ed Sheeran

Hipster on WRUW breaks ranks, plays Ed Sheeran

Jasmine Heusey It was noon when Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You” was broadcast over the airwaves of WRUW. The earth began to shake as the station itself revolted against the … Read More “Hipster on WRUW breaks ranks, plays Ed Sheeran”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment What to do this weekend

What to do this weekend

Erin Hartmann   As it turns out, there is actually not a whole lot to do this weekend. Here are some things only a few of you will be interested … Read More “What to do this weekend”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017April 28, 2017No comment Playlist of the Week: April 7-13

Playlist of the Week: April 7-13

  “Dental Care” – Owl City: “Dental Care” is a dreamy electro synth song by Owl City, as he laments about his struggles going to the dentist. Following the story … Read More “Playlist of the Week: April 7-13”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Horoscopes for April 14, 2017

Horoscopes for April 14, 2017

Cancer | When they go low, you will go high, to the dismay of the children you will dunk on. Aries |  Much of today will be a continuation of … Read More “Horoscopes for April 14, 2017”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Browns draft pitcher Alex Faedo as surprising number one pick

Browns draft pitcher Alex Faedo as surprising number one pick

Eddie Kerekes PHILADELPHIA—Think beyond the possible. As many of you readers know, that’s the motto of Case Western Reserve University. Cleveland Browns general manager Sashi Brown did not attend CWRU, … Read More “Browns draft pitcher Alex Faedo as surprising number one pick”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Tiger Woods wins CWRU mini golf championship

Tiger Woods wins CWRU mini golf championship

Eddie Kerekes CLEVELAND—Wearing his signature red shirt, Tiger Woods crouched down and stared at the ball rolling on the green toward the hole. When it finally descended into the cup, … Read More “Tiger Woods wins CWRU mini golf championship”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Semester Grades

Semester Grades

Editorial Staff USG: F   Although it may seem extreme, we find this grade reasonable. The Undergraduate Student Government (USG) has addressed none of the concerns our staff has submitted … Read More “Semester Grades”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Letter to the Editor: Student body’s ignorance is disgusting

Letter to the Editor: Student body’s ignorance is disgusting

A cold wind blows through an empty, dark conference room. Discarded solo cups and half-eaten pizza litter the floor. The only sound that breaks the awkward silence is the occasional … Read More “Letter to the Editor: Student body’s ignorance is disgusting”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Unconventional Method Used to Appoint New COC 2019 President

Unconventional Method Used to Appoint New COC 2019 President

Steve Kerby After the recent impeachment of the President of the Class Officer Collective Class of 2019, attempts to appoint a new interim president stalled repeatedly. The remaining COC 2019 … Read More “Unconventional Method Used to Appoint New COC 2019 President”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Letter to the Editor: A response to your critique of campus doors

Letter to the Editor: A response to your critique of campus doors

Dear Editor, In a recent issue of the Athenian, your esteemed editor, Paul Palumbo, wrote about doors. In this atrocious opinion piece, he argued that “all the doors on campus … Read More “Letter to the Editor: A response to your critique of campus doors”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment CWRU releases Rate My Student

CWRU releases Rate My Student

Statistics professors shares thoughts on the site Jess Chalas Q: Today, we’re interviewing Professor Jared Ashby of the Statistics Department, Case Western Reserve University’s most avid user of RateMyStudents.com. So, … Read More “CWRU releases Rate My Student”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment New bus driver takes Greenie in a new direction

New bus driver takes Greenie in a new direction

Staff Reporter Cleveland native and Dunkin’ Donuts gold star loyalty member Mike Holliday was recently hired by the Case Western Reserve University Police as the new part-time Greenie driver. Since … Read More “New bus driver takes Greenie in a new direction”

Author cwruathenianPosted on April 19, 2017No comment Greenie hits pedestrian, driver lauded

Greenie hits pedestrian, driver lauded

Leticia Dornfeld At approximately 9:30 p.m. on Friday, March 24, a person was running across Juniper Road towards the Residence Halls when he was suddenly hit from his right by … Read More “Greenie hits pedestrian, driver lauded”

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