By: Two Fairly Bitter Cynics

Cleveland Indians Mascot– Fondly remembered as a way for many middle-class white Americans to justify their racially charged attitudes.

My ex-boyfriend– Here lies what I once thought was love, and the remains of a remarkably average penis.

Spot Night– Will now be forgotten more than one time per week. Always forgotten, never remembered.

Sigmund Freud– Remembered as the only penis man that was capable of clinically diagnosing patients’ with a desire to sleep with their own parents.

Neutral Milk Hotel– This beloved band died well before it was cool, and will forever give hipsters another way to feed their self-inflicted poverty.

Sofia Vergara– Caring friend, but fondly remembered as the the lady with the boobs that flopped around like nobody’s business.

George Bush’s brother– In loving memory of a politician who was overshadowed by his marginally competent older brother.

Richard Dawkins– A beloved evolutionary biologist; died of autism contracted by his most recent flu shot.

BuzzFeed– Beloved by many. Their last remaining wish was to have you take the quiz “Which Korean condiment are you?”

The last shower of a CWRU nerd– 2005

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