11111 Euclid Avenue, Cleveland OH 44106

CWRU shines at talent show

By Bluffy Dumbers

Case Western Reserve University students put their best foot forward (literally, for one-­legged tap dancer Lillian Diaz) at last week’s talent show. The show, hosted in the basement of Crawford in the empty space outside of Auxiliary Services, was run by new USG recognized club “Stuff to Do on Campus.” It featured four straight hours of students showing off their favorite talents.
George Harridaughter opened the show with his favorite hobby: complaining. He spent over an hour on stage complaining about everything from Bon Appétit dining hall food to the horrible lack of unicorns in Cleveland to the impressionability of America’s youth. At the end of his set, he thanked the audience, which was made up of two students, three locals and a broom dressed up to look like a person, before yelling “psych!” and spraying everyone with Silly String.
Ron Yabos also showed off his talent of juggling with only one ball, although he was not able to finish more than 30 seconds of the set due to a disastrous series of ball-­dropping mistakes. Then, Penelope Meers went on stage to impress everyone with her ability to eat an entire Denny’s meal without getting raging diarrhea afterwards, a talent which earned the biggest applause of the night.
The show closed with Sarah McLachlan, who appeared without notifying anyone that she would be coming to sing a sad song about dogs that need adoption. While the audience was receptive to the first five minutes of her performance, anger started to rise afterwards, and by hour three of the same song repeated over and over again, most of the audience had gotten up and gone home.
Editor’s Note: We went back to the scene of the talent show three days later and Ms. McLachlan was still playing. She did not respond to requests for comment.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *