CWRU students unable to understand class

By: Michael Codega

A new report from first-year Case Western Reserve University students indicates that they have no idea what’s happening in class right now. Despite attending multiple lectures of the class, they feel the professor has not begun to shape the topic of conversation into something that can be related to the class’ title, much less into something that can be linked back to the course description. The more resourceful students have since found a syllabus,
but even after careful analysis, the information gleaned from it was as dry as the jokes made by the professor. The professor’s look of confusion upon realizing that he was the only one laughing can only be compared to the confusion the students felt when trying to understand what class they had been sitting in for the last 25 minutes.
It is clear to students that stories about the Vietnamese friends of the professor cannot be linked back to Chemistry (or was it Geology?) without a generous amount of improbable extrapolation. Either way, students all agree that they would prefer the professor read from the textbook as a future lecture, or at least assign textbook reading to provide context to his stories about pygmy donkeys, and how they could possibly relate to the class
New information provided to The Athenian indicates that there is a quiz in the recitation tomorrow, but the currently enrolled students are unsure about what material is expected to be known for the quiz. Despite the best attempt by the class to parse the misplaced stories about Parisian ballerinas the professor tells into relatable material, the ultimate meaning is still unknown to the majority of students. Further updates to the story included
a glimmer of false hope as students received an email from the TA’s indicating that everyone should bring a calculator to the quiz during tomorrow’s recitation, offering some, albeit shallow, insight into the class material, and the assumption that math would be somehow involved in this Sociology class (or was it Chinese?). This hope was later crushed by a follow-up email adding crayons to the list of required materials for the quiz, confusing
students more than the professor’s story about meeting President Carter at Disneyland.

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