By: Aquene Kimmel
Taking over as the leader of a student organization is never easy. You have to clear out the booby traps the previous leader has planted around your office space, figure out which local crime families the group is currently paying off and renew those contracts before it’s too late, and even figure out the Google Groups and Facebook page.
I cleared these hurdles with only minor casualties, however, and was left feeling strong in my ability to run the Athenian. After all, I rose from a single-semester Proofreader to head of the organization all while shotgunning baguettes on my semester abroad in France. Not that I would ever imply that I stooped to less-than-legitimate tactics to rise to power…
After this inspiring bootstraps beginning, I was faced with a new challenge: how would I keep this thing afloat continue to help this great organization provide a service to our campus?
Democracy (rule by either popular vote or electoral college): Given where it’s ended up for the United States, I figured it’s probably safer to avoid this option entirely.
Plutocracy (rule by the wealthy): I haven’t figured out how to siphon money without MediaBoard noticing yet, so this one’s out.
Meritocracy (rule based on ability and skills): Adorable.
Monarchy (rule by either Beyoncé or whoever’s family was the best at killing people): I’m all about timeless, versatile accessories, so it’s hard to do better than a nice tiara. Plus this one makes it simple to decide who takes over next; my dog Lily would make an excellent Editor. I did watch Crown, though, so I guess I’ll put this one down as a maybe.
Autocracy (absolute rule by one person): This one seems like kind of a lot of work. I mean, six issues a year of just me being in charge? Yearbook has the right idea with their one thing a year.
In the end, none of these really fit my leadership style.
I’m more of a “write it down on a post-it, and I’ll do it eventually because I’m too lazy to delegate” kind of gal, and I just don’t see that represented enough among the world’s governments. So, as I start as Editor-in-Chief I’m going to implement a new leadership style.
Atheniocracy (rule by procrastinated Post-its): Because there’s a reason I’m running a humor magazine and not a government.