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Five Words that Only Millennials Know: Valuable knowledge Everyone Else is Missing

Alaina Lisanti

Things may seem bleak with temperatures at an all-time high and politics at an all-time low, but look on the bright side: if you were born between 1980 and 2000, you’re likely to have knowledge of these five important words.

  1. Kale (noun): A green, leafy vegetable. Did anyone even eat kale before 2010? We didn’t think so either. We dare you to watch Food Network for two hours, or read the latest issue of Cooking Light, and see if kale doesn’t pop up at least once. It certainly will, and only millennials know.
    1. Example: “Fribley’s serving kale again. Trying to be hip, I see.”
  1. Tubular (adj.): This is how classy, cultured millennials describe something that’s too cool to describe in any other terms. “Tubular” is one of those words that has likely been forgotten by anyone who grew up using it in the 1980s, but it’s making a resurgence in the speech of millennials. Now’s your chance to reclaim it.
    1. Example: “Those jorts are so tubular, man.”
  1. Global warming (noun): The natural warming of the earth sped up by the greenhouse gases humans produce with their cars, houses, farms, power plants and nearly everything we use to power our lives. Millennials recognize the seriousness of this phenomenon, and have turned to biking everywhere. However it’s possible the bike-riding is actually because they’re unable to afford cars
    1. Example: “Global warming is slowly melting the Antarctic Peninsula, so the penguins that live there may have to relocate to Greenland.”
  1. Polio (noun): So, you thought polio was a thing of the past, eh? Well, you’ve got anti-vaxxers to thank for this one making an appearance on this list. Polio is a debilitating illness that ill-informed parents are willing to let their kids contract because, obviously, getting your kid vaccinated is too dangerous.
    1. Example: “If I contracted polio, would I be allowed to skip gym class?”
  1. Debt (noun): It requires no explanation. You know it. You don’t love it. It’s a fact of every millennial’s lifethank you to previous generations for this one. Basically, it’s the money that you owe that’ll cling to you like a barnacle for years.
    1. Example: “Aw man, I’m in so much debt I can’t even afford to shop at Constantino’s anymore.”

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