William H. Shideler
CLEVELAND, OH – Friday night started like any other: with flashing lights and blaring music on CWRU’s Fraternity Row. Soon, the flashing lights and blaring sirens of cops encircled the house of Phi Rho Tau, Epsilon chapter (the PRTE fraternity). The night ended with a police interrogation of several PRTE brothers in connection to heinous criminal charges.
The accusations include soda drinking by brothers and some really bad dancing by party guests. The police were so concerned that one of the party guests was going to get a cavity from all the soda they consumed that EMS rushed them to the University Hospitals Dental Clinic for an emergency teeth cleaning.
While it was originally reported that some “haters” called the police, it was later discovered to be Carlile Samoa, the chapter president. Samoa reportedly called the police out of his disdain for brothers drinking soda in the house. Known for drinking nothing but water, and claiming anything else tastes bad in comparison, Samoa advocated that the fraternity ban all sugary drinks from the chapter house. While he regularly purchases soda for brothers—including the soda consumed on the night of the party—he always looked down on the fraternity’s party-throwing.
Finally, on Friday, Samoa had enough and sought to end the activities that encouraged others to enjoy themselves in the company of brothers. Instead, he argued, the chapter should focus on more important things, like discussing their own relevance in a society that discourages the institutional discrimination that fraternities are known for.
While the local chapter has yet to offer a statement to the press and declined to comment, the National Organization of Phi Rho Tau has presented The Athenian with a statement, reproduced below.
“Very little compares to the brotherly bonding of being dragged away in a cop car together—the caller actually did the accused a favor. Furthermore, it is unlikely that these men will face charges; fraternity men are rarely held accountable for their actions.”