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Gray: Why people should warn you if it’s on your face

By Kushagra Gupta

This didn’t happen to me. But, I just want to say that hypothetically, if you had something gray on your face, you would appreciate someone who was kind enough to notify you of your facial condition. In fact, you might actually consider this person a close friend; they clearly have your back. Let’s say you had to see this person every year over winter break and you would prefer to do anything else but spend time with them. If they had warned you, maybe this would give them a chance at redemption. Just maybe, though.

But, I’m willing to take a step back and look at things from another person’s view. I think it’s important to step out of your own shoes, and step on a bird, as Scout Finch did in “How to Kill a Mockingbird.”

So, let’s say you were spending time with a close group of friends over break. You haven’t talked to them since summer. Although, just to maintain your bearings, let’s say that wasn’t your fault. You were trying to enjoy college and perhaps your friends forgot how to reply to a text, like, every other day. Anyway, you haven’t seen them in a while, but once you have all met up at the mall, you notice something gray on one of their faces.

What could this gray thing be, you ask? Well, lets see. Your friend seems to be holding some kind of contraption. What could this magical device be, you wonder. Oh, looky, there are sprinkles drawn on it and the device is cup shaped. I wonder what that could indicate! Oh, yes, now you remember that you can read. How exciting your world must be where you forget and have to remember that you are not illiterate! (It would be a shock if you were banned from say, society, wouldn’t it?)

After translating the words into something you can comprehend, you realize that this is in fact a cup designed to hold ice cream from an ice cream shop in the mall. You deduce that the color of the gray item in the cup is the exact color of the gray on your friend’s face. You must feel so brilliant.

Now, however comes the hard part. You have to somehow tell you friend that they have something on their face without embarrassing them to a certain degree. But, remember, the’re going to really appreciate this and it’s a sensible thing to do, seriously. Don’t be hasty, this is not like the time you confused blood and ketchup on their face. Let’s not frighten the public now!

The key here would be to inform them in a clear concise sentence. (Believe it or not, I spend all my free time correcting the grammar of your online comments.) Try to practice this in the mirror a couple times at home. Make sure you don’t make a fool out of yourself, but more importantly, make sure you don’t make a fool of your beloved friend.

But what happens if you fail? I can’t be the only one totally overreacting to this. Suddenly, back in Cleveland, or wherever, your friend sees the ice cream on their face when they are showing their college friends selfies from break. The only reason to do this to someone is if they are rude to you, and your friend was trying really hard to be nice. Now you’re not getting any responses to your texts, again. I mean, who’s the jerk here?

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