“How I Met Your Mother” Season 9 Finale, Episode 24 Sneak “Preview” | Written by Julia Bianco
Many have been eagerly anticipating the last season of How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) for quite some time. From the beginning in 2005, we have waited impatiently for the feared anticlimactic unmasking of Whatsherface (Cristin Milioti) since day one. At the end of season 8, we got our wish, and the yellow umbrella came down. However, as it turns out, it wasn’t completely roses and sandwiches from there on out.
While the gang and audience has viewed Ted’s (Josh Radnor) past as being actually pretty funny, in 2030, when Whatsherface hears his entire story for the first time, she isn’t as pleased to hear about one bad date after another bad date. It doesn’t help that she finds out that “Aunt” Robin didn’t have such a friendly past with Ted. Additionally, it doesn’t help, either, that she finally discovers that he is from Cleveland; even the fact that it isn’t Detroit doesn’t help the matter.
Following their explosive blow out over Ted’s past, Whatsherface decides to consult a divorce attorney, played by former pop star and current gas station attendant, Justin Bieber. After getting stuck in a fourteen-hour traffic jam on the way to his office, Whatsherface decides that the universe is trying to tell her not to break up with Ted, and she heads home.
However, in a surprise turn of events, Ted shows up at the attorney’s office and picks up divorce papers, which he stares at longingly while Bieber’s “One Less Lonely Girl” ironically plays in the background.
Ted drives to Barney’s (Neil Patrick Harris) house to talk to him about the divorce. Barney, who is working to join the brohood following his fifteenth marriage with Robin (Cobie Smulders), tells Ted to stay with Whatsherface, reminding him of how long it took him to find ‘the one.’ This causes Ted to break down, ending in him crying in Barney’s arms about how Robin was the true love of his life, a statement which somehow does not appear to make Barney uncomfortable, despite his 10 year marriage to Robin. Legen – wait for it – dairy?
Elsewhere, Whatsherface heads to Marshall (Jason Segel) and Lily (Alyson Hannigan) to talk about her crumbling marriage. Always quick to dole out bad advice, Marshall and Lily tell her to stick it out with Ted. “You’re 54, and you’ve spent your entire life trying to find a guy. At this point, you’re probably out of luck,” says Lily, with a comically exaggerated shrug. Following the obligatory laugh track, Whatsherface hugs Lily and then heads back home, eager to make things work with Ted.
Ted and Whatsherface arrive home at exactly the same time. Whatsherface starts off on an inspirational tearjerker of a speech about how she really wants to make things work between them, while Ted just stares at her blankly. Finally, after Whatsherface declares her eternal love for him, Ted presents her with the divorce papers, and the screen fades to the kids, sitting on the sofa in stunned silence.
While the ending was ultimately depressing and unexpected, we have to give it to the kids. Take one from Lily – it’s just another reason to drink, and you’ve earned it. That said, thank you Linus.