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Leaked Wells Fargo memo indicates desire to break up progressive politics

Harald Gormsson

Illustration Provided By Barnabas Brennan

Bernie Banks

 

Valued Employees,
I write to you all with a call to action, a battle cry of sorts.
Progressive politics cannot continue to be an island in a sea of Conservative politics, gambling millions of votes, while expecting the public not to vote for Clinton.
The two largest progressive candidates cumulatively received Democratic presidential nominations from 50 US states during the primaries. We cannot allow both Democratic politicians to collude for votes, all but ensuring financial regulation. We need to go back to the Good Ol’ Days of Bush when there were politicians across party lines who we could count on to ignore our destructive behavior. No longer can we pay Clinton to support us while Bernie and his supporters pressure her to ignore our checks.
We must break up Too-Big-To-Lose Progressive Candidates. Our progressives must instead be part of the productive, money-making economy that serves to help Wall Street instead of just their constituents. Clinton received countless dollars in a bailout of her campaign’s war chest. Despite that, she continued to grow in popularity, only to join with Bernie and risk the entire financial market.
Our freedom of buying speech is being threatened by Bernie Sanders and his push not only for financial regulation, but also for campaign reform. The Democrats must eliminate their internal conflicts of interest and provide more favorable oversight to ensure that the campaign industry works for the most important few, not everybody.
The Democratic Party, an entity which serves as an engine of the liberal agenda, must instead choose to serve and regulate the investors and banks in a way that works for Wall Street, not just the citizens. If enough American voters trust them with their nation’s presidency, we risk ending up with a progressive president who does not respect their job as part of Wall Street’s operation.
We need to formulate a plan to prevent a continued decline in our relevance. It is of chief importance that we follow the example set forth by the real estate industry and offer our own candidate for the next election, to ensure our proper place in politics.
Your Chief Executive Officer,
John Gregory Strumpf

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