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Legendary rainbow sparks legendary search

Paul Palumbo

Reports are coming in that an intense rainbow has appeared in the skies above Case Western Reserve’s campus.  Unlike most rainbows, this unimaginably beautiful example is completely opaque. People all over campus have ceased activity and are spending hours simply staring into the sky at the majesty above them. It is the brightest, most solid rainbow in recorded history, and this rarity has not gone unnoticed.

“I’m baffled,” said a local color scientist after gazing at the magnificence. “Nothing would create a rainbow that life-changingly gorgeous. I simply have no idea how something that stunning could even exist!”

While many would consider the sight of the elegant sky ribbon as prize enough, many CWRU students are not among them. Convinced the sheer splendor is a sign of much greater things, at least one hundred students have begun a search to find the pot of gold lying at the rainbow’s end.

The students have formed teams and spread out to find the northern and southern ends of the rainbow, unsure which holds the gold. Campus rules state in Section 144 Article 50 of the official rulebook that “Any legendary treasures found by a student on Case campus will be split evenly between the administration and treasure hunters.”

“I need this treasure,” says local student Seymour Bottom. “Do you KNOW how much tuition is here? And TEXTBOOKS? This treasure could be my one ticket out of a lifetime of soul-crushing student debts! And maybe also my one ticket to a new Playstation 4.”

Bottom and his team have chosen to explore the northern end of the rainbow, one of few teams to humor the possibility that the legendary treasure may be submerged in Lake Erie.

Whether or not any teams will find the treasure at the end of this remarkable rainbow remains to be seen. With the brilliance causing mass leisure across the city, one can only hope claiming the treasure will vanquish the rainbow and break its hold on the population.

 

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