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Mom just learned the word “Hashtag”

David Pendergast

CLEVELAND—Startling the family with her new usage of social networking terminology, 46-year-old mother of two Katheryn Cutters has reportedly started weaving the word “hashtag” into everyday conversation.

“It all started on Monday, when she asked me to please take out the ‘hashtag trash,'” reports Bryan, 12, adding that her attempts seem to be increasing in frequency as time goes on. “I don’t know where she picked it up, or what she thinks it means, but she keeps asking if I remembered to pack my hashtags before each day of school. It’s really bizarre.”  

Other family members are also noticing Cutter’s new habit. Samantha, 16, reports feelings of confusion and perturbation. “My first exposure was when Mom said to me, ‘I’m going to grab some ‘hashtag stuff’ from the store, do you need anything?’ just slipping it into the sentence like a halibut into an envelope. Thankfully I had already started rolling my eyes when she started talking.”

According to Samantha, instances of her mom’s verbal appropriation have been disturbing but mostly harmless. “Yesterday she asked if I’d seen any fresh hashtags on the internet, which sort of made sense until she mentioned that she saw a great one on a license plate that afternoon on the way home from work. I’m not sure what to think about all of this.”
Details will continue to be reported as the story unfolds. At press time, Cutters was overheard asking the family if anyone had seen the hashtags she’d left on the counter that morning, adding that she’d appreciate a retweet from anyone who finds them.

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