New Theme Park Opening in Neo-world

As summer comes rolling around, it’s time to for studious Case students to seek out new adventures away from their dorm rooms and mile-radius campus bubble. There’s so much you could do: soak in hot springs, party with friends, backpack in foreign lands, brave the seas on a five-star yacht. If only there was a place you could do all of them…

Well, now there is one! Welcome to Neo-world.

But, isn’t Neo-world that fake online community thing you played as a kid looking through a thick, glass screen and now runs ads for Fitness Singles?

Not anymore. Here are some real things you can do in Neo-world.

 Get a Neopet

The first thing you’d have to do in the Neo-world is, of course, get your Neopet. Neopets come in all different colors, ages and facial expressions. Pick your companion to share all your adventures with since, really, you most likely do not have a significant other. Be sure to also pick up a manual for understanding your Neopet’s language and gestures, so you can tell the difference when it’s actually enjoying the makeover you’re giving it or threatening to eat you if you apply one more layer of fairy paint.

Sail the Seas with your Neopet

Be a pirate captain like you always dreamed about. With your Neopet as your first mate, read treasure maps, find uncharted lands and dig up gold. Citrus candy and cider (the good kind) is always provided aboard for good measure.

Visit the Healing Springs

Pay a visit to the healing springs in Fairyland. Heal your wounds from the tribulations of exam week and too much Red Bull. Your pets will love you, and it will be oddly reminiscent of Pokemon. Those firebreathing death bringers were not nearly as fun, though.

Have a Pizza Party at the Giant Omelet

Bring all your friends together for one last party to celebrate the end of the semester at the Giant Omelet. Eat yourself into a hole in this all-you-can-eat buffet and then fall asleep in this cheesy mass.

Get Thrifty at Money Tree

Looking for a come-up? Try the Money Tree. It’s effing awesome. If you played Neopets—the fake thing—and were frugal, you might remember the Money Tree as your favorite but most frustrating go-to spot for free stuff. Scramble with your friends for ramen cup noodles and your granddad’s clothes falling out of the tree branches.

Gamble your way around Neo-world

Spin wheels, throw dice and scratch cards to win mysterious prizes. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you can try your luck at guessing the sleep schedule of dragons to steal valuable items out of their lairs. It’ll really teach you some life skills.

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