After a record-breaking number of chickens cited “to get to the other side” as their reason for crossing the U.S.-Mexico border, the National Security Agency (NSA) decided to revoke the passports of all chickens leaving the United States of America.
American chickens are valued most for their undesirable position as the star of bottomless wing nights and Egg McMuffin sandwiches. While America’s pub industry attracts millions of attendees with such nights, chickens are slowly starting to realize their precarious position. Unfortunately very few humans outside of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to care about this.
Since Texas is amongst the states that produce the most eggs in the country, it has seen the greatest increase in runaway chickens. When they reached the border, each said they wanted “to get to the other side.”
While the border patrol pushed for a more detailed answer, they had no luck.
The NSA was brought in to find out what was going on once and for all. Agents explained to the chickens that “to get to the other side” was too vague, but they were only met with a chorus of undecipherable chicken noises. In frustration, the NSA declared that saying “to get to the other side” will result in a revoked passport.
While the chickens have hinted that they are attempting to leave America due to the oppressive meat and egg industries, their lack of intelligence makes it difficult to know for sure. With the occasional exception, most are only able to articulate that they want to get to the other side. Most people theorize that the chickens only even know this phrase because they have heard their human overlords repeat the same bad jokes over and over again.
What the chickens appear to have overlooked is that meat and eggs aren’t any less popular in Mexico than they are in the U.S.