After countless concerns from Case Western Reserve University students about the “skyrocketing costs of education,” complaints of graduating seniors with “crippling debt and loans” and no financial basis with which to “start the rest of their lives,” the provost has announced that CWRU undergraduate tuition will decrease for the 2016-2017 academic year.
The generous 0.01 percent decrease is projected to balance budgets across the board, amounting to savings of $6 per student.
The provost explained that student needs and input were the prime focus of the decision to decrease tuition. “We are here for the students,” the provost commented. “We take tuition matters very seriously. After careful consideration, we were able to cut internet coverage and greenie maintenance expenditures to lower tuition and better meet students’ needs.”
Undergraduate students are grateful for the decrease, and many plan to use the savings to cover living expenses. “This will definitely bolster my weekly Chipotle fund,” one commented. “Even though it won’t even cover one burrito, I’m really happy about the extra cash.”
“This also might help cover my rent for an extra hour or so,” another student mentioned. “Although, I live in Little Italy, so I might drop it on a cannoli before I even make it to my landlord. C’est la vie.”
Other students plan to use the tuition break to cover their other academic expenses. “I’m putting my $6 towards an i>Clicker for my chemistry class,” another student explained. “I already have one for my biology class, but it would be too convenient to use the same one for both classes, so I’m happy about the extra funds.”
It’s not just STEM students who will use the tuition break for academic needs.“I need to buy seven books for my SAGES seminar,” one exasperated freshman commented. “ I looked up the most-used copies on Amazon so I’m set. They should arrive sometime in the next 10 weeks. Hopefully before the end of the semester.”
Students are also hopeful that the upcoming tuition decrease could set a precedent for future years. “If the cost of tuition continues to decrease at this rate,” one excited sophomore exclaimed, “think of how much money we’ll save by graduation!”
The undergraduate tuition decrease has also garnered attention from graduate and professional students. “Imagine if we had managed to convince the university to lower our tuition back in undergrad,” one graduate student posited. “Our lives might have been so different.”
Other graduate students see the undergraduate decrease as a positive sign for their own tuition rates. “If the undergrads can do it, maybe we can too,” one student said firmly. “After all, we are smarter than them. We should be able to get a decrease of at least 0.015 percent, if not 0.02 percent.”
The provost’s declaration has made him a bit of celebrity amongst undergraduates, most notably in that students have now actually heard of the term “provost.” If the tuition continues to decrease, maybe one day they’ll even stop confusing the reputable title as a type of Italian pasta.