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Returning student claims again, “This will be the year!”

Mahima Devarajan

SleepyStudent

 

Cleveland, OH— Peter Johnstol, rising junior at Case Western Reserve University, recently made the claim that “This will be the year!” Like several students his age, Johnson has made this claim for the seventh year in a row.

In an interview last Thursday, Johnstol spoke enthusiastically about his plans: “I’m gonna sleep more, work harder, waste less time, procrastinate less and go to office hours every week!”

Johnstol has become widely admired among his fellow peers for his decision to pursue such a noble path. Susie Percy, 20, spoke very highly of her friend of two years.

“I’m nearly speechless,” she said. “Peter is amazing. I mean… going to office hours…if only I could be like him…”

Johnstol’s words have gleaned admiration from students and faculty alike. Even Johnstol’s  academic advisor, Kenneth Slikenback, says he’s heard similar claims, but has never heard a student say anything quite so novel.

“You hear the usual, ‘I’ll try harder’ or ‘I’ll do better,’ from students all the time,” said Slikenback, eyes getting misty. “But Peter? No, this is brand new. I mean… going to office hours…”

Slikenback finished with a smile, “I think he’s going to settle on a major this year!”

Johnstol’s new school year resolutions have impressed many, but several classmates have come forward with doubts. This is Johnstol’s seventh year making the claim, “This will be the year!” When confronted about his abysmal execution of these plans in previous years, Johnstol brushed it off.

“That was the old Peter,” he said. “This year, it’s gonna be different! I have new goals, and if I just work hard, I can achieve them!”

To date, Peter has made it through his first week of classes. We have it on good authority that Peter will be starting his homework very shortly, as soon as he finishes “House of Cards.”

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