Whether you’re in a committed relationship or you’re currently single, you’ve likely gone through a breakup. Your former significant other seemed like the perfect match when you first met them. Then one day the fog lifted and you saw them for what they really were – a fire-breathing dragon burning your life down around you. While most break ups leave both parties sulking and wanting, others end in a spectacular blowout. So, perhaps if it’s coming to that time, some of these examples we found from around the world might inspire you.
Man cooks potato over ex-girlfriend’s burning clothes
When Mark Vaughan, a 27-year old man from England, saw his girlfriend kiss another man at a dance club, he was understandably upset. But then, being a complete lunatic, he chose to express his displeasure with his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend by gathering all the contents of her closet (including clothes, 45 pairs of shoes and a clunky laptop), and setting them ablaze in an improvised street-side bonfire.
Having satisfied his drunken angry impulses, he then decided to give into his drunken hungry impulses by attempting to bake a potato over the flames. Police who arrived on the scene described the man as “extremely drunk,” while he calmly cooked the most expensive potato in history. When queried over what he was doing, he responded “I’m burning my girlfriend’s clothes.” Say what you want about the man; at least he’s honest.
Woman attempts to sell husband on Ebay
After Paula Osborn, a woman from England discovered that her husband of 26 years had been cheating on her with one of her coworkers, she apparently figured that broken nuptial vows come with the same return policy as a defective tablet from Best Buy. She placed a posting (including a rather unflattering picture) of her husband on eBay, and described him as a “lying, cheating, adulterous wanker.” Though, to be fair, she was kind enough to offer free postage to whoever won the right to purchase said unfaithful wanker.
The post went viral and the highest bid reached £500,100. This was despite the fact that Osborn started the bidding at one cent, and even told potential buyers “please dont [sic] bid on him because he’s worth sod all.” She later took the post down, explaining that “I realized it wasn’t the right thing to do. I was just so angry.” No word, however, on how the incident has affected her 97.1 percent positive feedback rating.
Woman eats ex-husband’s goldfish after argument
A Houston, Texas (finally, some American insanity) woman took exception to a request from her ex-husband to return some jewelry he had given to her during their marriage.
Deciding not to get mad but to get even, she returned the favor by snatching his seven pet gold fish from his apartment during an argument and driving away. The man called the local authorities to report the fish-napping and officers were dispatched to her home in an attempt to retrieve the aquatic creatures.
Arriving at her apartment, an officer asked the woman where the fish in question were. She pointed to the kitchen and declared, “They’re in there.” Officers headed to the kitchen and found a plate containing, you guessed it, four fried goldfish. Upon being asked the obvious follow question of where the other three fish were, she replied “I already ate those.” Under Texas state law, however, the fish were considered community property, as they were purchased when the couple still lived together. As a result, the husband was unable to press charges. His only recourse was to write his congressman a stern letter demanding a law against…illegal consumption of property, perhaps?
Cambodian man saws his family’s home in half
A 42 year old Cambodian man named Moeun Sarim had been married to his wife, Vat Navy, for 18 years before they got into a particularly heated argument. So heated, in fact, that talk of a divorce was even brought up. The angry husband, who had recently learned that his wife was having an affair with a younger man in their village, stormed out, only to return with his angry relatives and a hand saw. He then proceed to saw the house in half, as his frantic wife and law enforcement futilely attempted to calm him down. Amazingly, he accomplished the feat despite the house having been built on 10 foot tall stilts.
The man’s wife seemed to take the whole incident in stride. “Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted,” she said in a media interview. From the tone of her response, you’d almost think that this wasn’t the first time a jilted ex-lover of hers solved a lover’s quarrel with a handsaw. What did Sarim do with his half of the building? The world may never know.