“Spy Kids 3D: Game Over”… in 2D

By Carmen Elizabeth Juanita Echo Sky Brava Cortez


Today, I found cinema’s greatest masterpiece while browsing through Netflix. What movie features Sylvester Stallone, Danny Trejo, Steve Buscemi, Elijah Wood, Selena Gomez, Emily Osment, George Clooney and Salma Hayek?
What movie has spinning pigtails, stick-­on mustaches, wonderfully written deep conversations about the importance of family and bouncing frogs all within 10 minutes of each other?
What movie has more amazingly rendered special 3D CGI effects than you could ever want?
“Spy Kids 3D: Game Over,” only literally the best movie that has ever been produced in the history of all time ever, that’s what.
I have a long history with the Spy Kids franchise. It all began when I was six years old and I saw the first movie on the Disney Channel one night. It started at 8 p.m., and my bedtime was 9:30 p.m., so I never got to finish it, but I still have to say that it got pretty intense. Then, I got the privilege of seeing “Spy Kids 2” in theaters, which was really edge-of-your-seat viewing. But when “Spy Kids 3” came out, real life unfortunately took over, and I wasn’t able to sit down and embrace the 3D adventure until just this past weekend. But let me say, it was well worth the wait.
I wouldn’t recommend this movie for those with cardiac or respiratory problems, because it may be too intense to handle. My heart was running like a rabbit on a treadmill for the whole hour and 22 minutes.
I had to leave at one point because I couldn’t stop crying. When Juni brought his wheelchair bound grandpa into the game and then his grandpa could walk and they were on the moon and then his grandpa just ran away from him but then later he came back and it was all chill? Riveting, painful, deep.
Some movies just know how to do literally everything right, and this is definitely one of them.
And those special effects! Now, I don’t have a 3D television, so I was actually watching the movie in 2D, but damn were they impressive regardless! Everything looked so bubbly and a little bit blurry. It was just so meaningful! I honestly have to say that this movie is probably on par with the likes of “Citizen Kane” in terms of storylines and motifs and “The Avengers” in terms of awesome action sequences and special effects. I was just crazy impressed.
I don’t think anyone would deny that Robert Rodriguez is the next Steven Spielberg, and if they do, you know something is up.
Now listen, I can’t praise this movie enough. The cinematography (so many angles!); the special effects that weren’t entirely green screens; the realistic acting; the hardcore burns, just like you’d see among real life video gamers (“This wimp is a phony” hit hard for me. I’m going to use that in the future); the storyline…
When you put it all together, I think it’s clear that this movie being passed over for Oscar consideration is literally the greatest oversight of all time. I intend to launch a full scale protest against the blatant disregard for high quality filmmaking that led to this movie being passed over by so many awards shows.
But, until that problem is remedied, just know that the best movie in the whole universe is waiting for your repeated viewing on Netflix.



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