The Athenian’s Tips for Aging Gracefully

Cloe de Plume

As another school year continues in full swing, many people are anxious about growing older. Remember: You may not be able to stop the passage of time, but you can change how you feel about it. Here are some tips for staying vibrant and feeling great as you age.

  • Many men highly value strength and vigor, so they tend to fear the loss of physical power that comes with aging. Get around this by stopping all physical activity so that you have little to lose.
  • Just because you’re getting older doesn’t mean that you have to act old! Relive your youth by going about your day in a diaper and asking your professors for a quarter for the candy machine.
  • Make sure that you start saving for retirement. Then, you’ll have funds to pay off your rising debts after you graduate and can’t find a job.
  • Recent headlines are scaring many Americans into a fear of Alzheimer’s. Remember, chances are that you will actually worry more about skin blemishes and wrinkles becoming visible as you get older. An easy way to avoid this is by always wearing a mask to hide your ugly face.
  • Lastly, remember that the advance of death is inevitable for all. Keep a calendar to count down the days until your eternal oblivion.


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