The birds and the bees – Explained!

Slar’rgron Baxla

The method by which humans reproduce is neither complicated nor extraordinary, and yet children and even some adults harbor great confusion and misconceptions about the process. The Athenian is tasked with educating the public on this issue, which is most crucial to the survival and wellbeing of the species.
First it is important to make sure all the necessary ingredients are at hand. You will need: one adult female, one adult male (beard optional) and a glowing crystal of pure love. Once the materials are gathered, the ritual may proceed.
The process begins in an Italian restaurant, where both humans feed on a meal comprised of tomato, noodle, parmesan cheese and possibly the meat of an animal beneath themselves on the food chain. During the restaurant phase, it is important for each human to use their sophisticated vocalization capabilities to induce feelings of joy and humor into the potential mate, as this increases the chance of fertilization later. When the dinner is complete, the pair reaches an agreement about who will pay for the experience, and then they will leave the eatery and get into the male’s vehicle.
The next phase of the ritual, the driving phase, is very important and the attainment of reproduction hinges on its success. If the previous stage went well, then the humans should continue to partake in pleasant conversation throughout the drive until they arrive at the female’s inhabitancy. At this point, the duo will either press their lips together, signifying mutual affection or simply say goodnight and depart. If mutual affection was signified, then the female may invite the male into her apartment, which indicates that the ritual has succeeded! If the male accepts the proposition, then after a nine month gestation period a new baby human just might be born.

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