Ellie is a Cognitive Science, Chemistry, and Psychology major from Pittsburgh, PA. She is also the 15th president of the United States and Not like other girls. She enjoys the bass clarinet, the woman who went viral for Pakistani nationalism, and Tacologist more than Barrio.
Zubair Mukhi, Managing Editor
Erin Hartmann, Editor in Chief
Erin is a fourth-year whose extreme love of weenie dogs prompted her to get one named Lady. She likes saying “doodie” and screeching “I’m pissed” unironically. Her talents include never finishing her BiBiBop order and sharing only the green-orange sour gummy worms. Her favorite TV shows include the Property Brothers and Ja’mie: Private School Girl, with the protagonist being her role model. She hates walking, which will prove daunting as she is living on North Side this year. Because she is a Texas native, she loves jandals (Jesus sandals), rodeos, and her truck Steve.
Sophie is a fourth-year Computer Science student who feels a lot of Old-World guilt and shame about not being a “real engineer.” To make matters worse, though she likes her major, she’s not a big fan of “software development,” “actually writing code,” “practical job skills,” and “being employed.”“Funniness” skipped a generation in her family, so rather than Dad Humor, she enjoys what can only be described as “Grandpa Humor.” (In particular, quality puns and clever wordplay will make her groan and roll her eyes obligingly.) This might be why her humor tends towards thepolitically incorrect, not to mention “overly parenthesized” (and quotation marked). Sophie believes no subject matter is off limits except rape and genocide, as long as the jokes are done in good faith and with appropriate (exactly 52.18%) sensitivity to us snowflakes. In her spare time, she can usually be found meticulously color-coding spreadsheets, scribbling down jokes that she thinks would be good for standup if she were ever motivated to a) stand up and b) speak out loud, or trying to win board games by playing the strategy that she determines to be the most Jew-y.
Rhiannon Reese, Business Manager
Rhiannon is a self-proclaimed vine aficionado who likes to “dick around” in the pool and occasionally compete on the school’s varsity swim team. She enjoys phrases such as “litty titty” and “suck my dick.” Her hobbies include watching two bros chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they’re not gay. Also memes, sleeping, and sucking up boba. As a materials science major, she often returns to her dorm with stories from the NPR podcast she listens to. Some of Rhiannon’s many talents include her inability to eat spicy foods and manspread farther than any man. Her preferred method of transportation is the train, specifically the Chicago trains, and fre sh avoc ado never disappoints.
Letty Dornfeld, Head of Graphics
Leticia Dornfeld is a double major in aerospace and mechanical engineering. She likes robots, space, and trains that go really fast. She wears glasses because she has a condition that makes her see everything in the form of a cartoon. She also has a speech impediment that makes her say “y’all” even though she’s lived in Ohio for more than three years. She’s extremely critical of Mexican food not made in Texas. She speaks three languages, including Birb (with an excellent Cockatiel accent). If you can’t find her on campus, it’s because she’s probably disguised in an elaborate cosplay, or she could be in Little Italy with her face buried in her sketchbook.
Elizabeth Ye, Layout Manager
Elizabeth, or as she is more commonly referred to, Yeezus, is working toward a computer science degree (on paper) and working toward being twitter famous (in reality). You can often find this cryptid wearing clothes inappropriate for the weather, but’s it’s okay because she’s from Ohio. She likes drawing but does so only at 3 AM, she eats Chipotle seemingly every day, and no one knows if she actually attends class.