The Minions

 

serious

 

Michael Codega, Editor-in-chief

 

Michael CodegaMichael is one of Case’s ex-BMEs who switched to computer engineering after he discovered that computers were his only friends. Sometimes Michael finds himself lost, wandering hopelessly off the grid. The rest of the time he just spends his days searching for the meaning of life online while the world passes by around him. Mike, who prefers to be called either Michael, or Mike, also likes to wear baseball hats backwards to pretend he’s cool.  

 

Erin Hartmann,  Managing Editor

Erin is a third-year whose extreme love of weenie dogs prompted her to get one named Lady. She likes saying “doodie” and screeching “I’m pissed” unironically. Her talents include never finishing her BiBiBop order and sharing only the green-orange sour gummy worms. Her favorite TV shows include the Property Brothers and Ja’mie: Private School Girl, with the protagonist being her role model. She hates walking, which will prove daunting as she is living on North Side this year. Since she is one of the many sad and unfortunate souls who chose the pre-med track, you can usually find her studying on Friday and Saturday nights. Because she is a Texas native, she loves jandals (Jesus sandals), rodeos, and her truck Steve.

 

Rhiannon Reese, Business Manager

Rhiannon is a self-proclaimed vine aficionado who likes to “dick around” in the pool and occasionally compete on the school’s varsity swim team. She enjoys phrases such as “litty titty” and “suck my dick.” Her hobbies include watching two bros chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they’re not gay. Also memes, sleeping, and sucking up boba. As a materials science major, she often returns to her dorm with stories from the NPR podcast she listens to. Some of Rhiannon’s many talents include her inability to eat spicy foods and manspread farther than any man. Her preferred method of transportation is the train, specifically the Chicago trains, and fre sh avoc ado never disappoints.

 

Letty Dornfeld, Head of Graphics

Leticia Dornfeld is a double major in aerospace and mechanical engineering. She likes robots, space, and trains that go really fast. She wears glasses because she has a condition that makes her see everything in the form of a cartoon. She also has a speech impediment that makes her say “y’all” even though she’s lived in Ohio for more than three years. She’s extremely critical of Mexican food not made in Texas. She speaks three languages, including Birb (with an excellent Cockatiel accent). If you can’t find her on campus, it’s because she’s probably disguised in an elaborate cosplay, or she could be in Little Italy with her face buried in her sketchbook.

 

 

Sophia Yakumithis, Proof Reader

Known for her curvaceous body and selfie addiction, Sophia Yakumithis is a considered a reality television sensation and cultural icon. She first rose to fame through her friendship and job as a stylist to Paris Hilton, but a home-movie-gone-viral starring herself and former boyfriend/rapper Ray J leaked in 2007 and launched her into stardom. Later that year, she and her family landed the E! reality television series Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Sophia has since cultivated a prominent social media presence, maintaining millions of followers on Twitter and Instagram. Her marriage to rapper Kanye West, with whom she has three children, has also received a great deal of media coverage.

Time magazine featured Sophia in their 2015 100 most influential people, while Vogue labelled her a “pop culture phenomenon.” Critics and fans have often credited her for normalizing the notion of being famous for being famouss; she was reported to be the highest-paid reality television personality of 2015, with her total earnings exceeding US$53 million.

Zubair Mukhi, Proof Reader

In case you hadn’t gathered, Zubair is literally just this photograph taped to chairs around campus. You’ll find him in classes, sitting at Fribley, or haunting Starbucks, where he only drinks Hot Chocolate, thanks very much.
Any edits made by Zubair are actually from a committee of chimpanzees with typewriters and overactive imaginations.
Sophie Salomon, Proof Reader

Sophie is a third-year Computer Science student who feels a lot of Old-World guilt and shame about not being a “real engineer.” To make matters worse, though she likes her major, she’s not a big fan of “software development,” “actually writing code,” “practical job skills,” and “being employed.” Funniness” skipped a generation in her family, so rather than Dad Humor, she enjoys what can only be described as “Grandpa Humor.” (In particular, quality puns and clever wordplay will make her groan and roll her eyes obligingly.) This might be why her humor tends towards the politically incorrect, not to mention “overly parenthesized” (and quotation marked) Sophie believes no subject matter is off limits except rape and genocide, as long as the jokes are done in good faith and with appropriate (exactly 52.18%) sensitivity to us snowflakes. In her spare time, she can usually be found meticulously color-coding spreadsheets, scribbling down jokes that she thinks would be good for standup if she were ever motivated to a) stand up and b) speak out loud, or trying to win board games by playing the strategy that she determines to be the most Jew-y. 

 

 

 

Brad Ricca, Advisor

silly

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is not a photo of Brad Ricca.