For anyone looking to enjoy a truly exquisite meal, the drink is just as important as the food. This fact doesn’t change just because the setting is a dining hall. However, most of us uncivilized ruffians ignore this facet of a meal completely, running straight over to the soda machine. For those looking to make our lunch or dinner (or breakfast, if you’re daring) all it can be, we present this guide. Read on to learn exactly what to drink with which food.
Most people will head straight to the pizza station. Good choice; incidentally, that’s the only edible thing in the whole place. Pair this Italian classic with another Italian classic: a nice Chianti works wonders here. Chianti is also a good choice if you’d rather take pasta over stir-fry.
Meat lovers who are more interested in a hamburger or whatever mystery meat they’ve got as the daily special should go with a Pinot Noir. The nice earthy tones and berry scents of the wine will pair well with the former cow and whatever it was fed before becoming your dinner.
Braving the stir fry? Try a Merlot. If nothing else, it’ll make the barely-cooked meal go by much faster.
If the prepared options just aren’t cutting it and you want to make your own sandwich, we recommend a good Pinot Noir or Pinot Grigio. Or you could bring some home-brewed moonshine, since already-prepared foods clearly aren’t cutting it for you. Try the prison recipe!
Those looking to polish off their meal with some dessert should look into a nice port or dessert wine, or even a good chardonnay. That way you’ll have an epic sugar rush in addition to being hammered. If you’re in Fribley and stopping by the popcorn machine, try some Cabernet Sauvignon.
So next time you go to the dining hall, be it Leutner or Fribley, you’ll know exactly what to drink to have the perfect meal. But if this all sounds like too much work, you can just go to the liquor store and buy whatever’s in their bargain bin. Pairing cheap shit with the cheap shit you’re eating works too.