The Sultan of Seduction

The Sultan

Seducing the rich is hard.
Is the chase of plebeians for intimacy getting a bit dry? Are old baits like the trail of money into the bedroom or buying expensive gifts just not working as well as they used to? Well don’t fret, I, the Sultan of Seduction, have a mystical method with a mind-boggling success rate. Hand crafted many moons ago in the land of Sultanania, this method was fine tuned to only be utilized by those who live the most extravagant and lavish lives. I call it: the Art of Innuendo, trademark pending. Follow these ancient methods, and I assure you that you’ll entice the fanciest of lovers. No longer will you have to put efforts into expressing your affections to the rest of the 99 percent, just slip one of the following fancy pick up lines into any conversation, and you’ll be sure to get an explosion of passion unlike ever before:

1. I bet you can put a lot of bang in these bucks.
2. I’d stuff your off-shore accounts.
3. I’d crash my Bentley into your Bugatti.
4. Is your name Vera? Cause I’ve got your Wang.
5. My company would drill through 10 Earths for your crude oil.
6. I’d take you with a bottle of Domaine de la Romanee any day.
7. My plastic surgeon can’t keep things as tight as you.
8. I’d start a thrust fund with you.

9. You can take a ride on my platinum submarine any time.
10. I’d make my mansion staff bend over backwards for you.
11. We can bang around my croquet balls any time.
12. I’d let you monopolize all my time.

13. You can drive my yacht, if you know what I mean.
14. I’d eat your caviar, if you know what I mean.
15. Let’s have sex.
If you experience any difficulties such as having to avoid super swift karate chops to your brand new face, getting a variety of fine wine thrown all over your diamond encrusted business clothes, rekindling a lost love with your third spouse, and/orlosing the deed to your moon property, this means that my methods are working.You are, slowly but surely, on your way to becoming a master of the innuendo arts. For a small charge of $100,000 a month you can
have private lessons with me. As my apprentice you will learn the true secret to innuendo, and become a black belt in the art of innuendo in half the time. Call 1-800-MO-MONEY today, to learn how to woo  the perfect lover the right way.

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