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Trump hires rioters for more controversy

Daniel Mottern

Amidst a slew of American flags, “Make America Great Again” hats, and angry conversations about immigrants, there seems to be a problem arising for Donald Trump supporters in the form of protesters. Trump himself has taken to Twitter to claim that Bernie Sanders has sent his supporters to disrupt Trump rallies, but in our exclusive interviews with Trump protestors, we got the scoop as to who is truly behind these riots.

We talked to an actor, who would like to remain anonymous for fear of repercussions by Trump supporters, and as such will be referred to as “Rick Sage,” who says that he was hired by Mr. Trump himself to incite a riot at his own rally in Louisville, KY in early March. As Mr. Sage, who has starred in movies such as “Ghost Rider,” “National Treasure” and alongside John Travolta in “Face/Off,” stated in our interview, “I’ve hit a bit of a wall in my career. All of my roles have been too easy, and so I was looking for some more challenging acting gigs when out of the blue, Mr. Trump called and said, ‘Hey, I have a job for you’, and who was I to say no?”

Mr. Sage, who was featured in the hit movie “Kick-Ass” under the pseudonym “Nick Cage,” stated that Mr. Trump paid for his services with a small loan of one million dollars, as well as a life-time supply of Trump t-shirts. Sage also noted that Trump hired many other out-of-work actors, most notably the “Full House” star turned yogurt salesman, who denied our requests for an interview and would like to remain anonymous.

Will Trump continue this untrustworthy act of hiring his own protestors, or will he be more careful to hide his illicit actions like other politicians? Only time will tell.

 

Letty Dornfeld

Letty Dornfeld, Uncle-Trump-World-War-2-Poster

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