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Twinkie discontinuation hoax spurs bidding war on “Last Twinkie”

David Pendergast

On Monday, Sept. 9, the internet was abuzz after a top secret document attributed to Hostess Brands was reportedly leaked. Titled “The End of the Twinkie Era,” the memo describes plans to forever cease production of the sugary treat, as well as an explanation.

The official-looking report cited several “great embarrassments” of the Twinkie as the reason for discontinuation, including the time “some teacher left a yellow miracle [sic] on his chalkboard for 37 years and it didn’t decompose,” and “when it was revealed that many ingredients are derived from rocks and petroleum.”

The document then goes on to explain that a product which has brought so much shame to Hostess and its affiliates is not fit to be the company’s primary product.
Not long after the leaked document appeared, an item named “Certified Last Twinkie Ever Produced” started to receive huge interest on Ebay.com, a popular auction website. Starting at $500.00, the price quickly shot up to $2,050.00 before finally settling at the price of $3,530.67.

Charlie Sun, the purchaser of the precious “Last Twinkie”, reports that his initial excitement over winning the auction and obtaining “the freshest Twinkie forever” quickly soured when it was revealed that the memo had been a hoax. “I thought that I was buying a delicious piece of history,” Sun stated. “But now all I’ve got is an overpriced pastry.”

At press time Sun was seen eating the cream-filled pleasure-giver and remarking that it tasted better than usual.

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