Welcome all rising freshmen to Case Western Reserve University. You are the Class of 2019 and you all have accomplished many great feats besides picking a school in Cleveland, OH, where the sun does not shine too often and Chipotle does not deliver.
We have so many remarkable students who will be matriculated into this university this year. We have numerous students who have volunteered and had part time jobs— but who has not done that? Admission to a decent college requires at least one complete summer dedicated to playing bingo in a nursing home. We have students who have also conducted their own research and written papers, but when applying to a university with an interest in the sciences this is also a necessity.
A few of our students play sports and have gone to state championships. We also have students who have held leadership positions in several student run organizations. Still, nothing super exciting there; it is well known that curing cancer, running four charities, and captaining several varsity sports teams is barely enough to scrape an admission into a decent school these days.
But here is where our new freshman class truly shines… One of our incoming students has gone 56 hours without sleeping. Forget the all-nighter, soon it will be the all-weeker thanks to this trailblazing student. Not even one day into classes, and this outstanding student has begun to think beyond the possible.
Yet surpassing the 56 hour accomplishment, we have another student who holds the Guinness World Record for most coffee cups consumed consecutively. At 52 cups, this student discovered the dosage of caffeine that can literally kill you. Our students are always contributing to the field of medicine.
Besides all these astounding students who have shown us procrastination is a serious problem that will most likely get worse for everyone in their next four years here, we have a star studded list of students who were waitlisted by Ivy Leagues. This list gets longer and longer every year; it is great to know CWRU was not your first or second choice. All these accomplished incoming students put this school at its 38th national ranking (we were 37th until last year). We hope you continue to accomplish much at this university in the next four years—those of you who do not transfer.